My father always said you should always leave the dinner table hungry. Mum said that i couldnt get a husband if my dress size was double digits.
I think they're both ridiculous and sad and despite their constant and continued bullying about my size (a australian 12) i continue to eat what i want and when... no diet, no gimmicks.
Took me a long time to get there but it can be done.

I too was brought up with the idea that you can only eat what you're offered, at specific times, and no dessert without finishing the main meal. I too have totally lost the ability to know if l'm actually really hungry or not. I have gone the opposite way though and struggled my whole adult life not to be overweight. Sometimes l've managed it, sometimes not. I loathe myself when l'm overweight but when times are tough, the struggle to succeed on yet another diet is just too great. This definitely stems from my mother's attitude to feeding us as children, and l worry that my own yoyo dieting has had a poor effect on my daughter's eating habits. The whole thing is a minefield and it seems it's just so hard to get it right.

Her parents -- and her father in particular -- sound as if they had a lifetime of disordered eating patterns and disordered thoughts around eating under their belts. It is SO hard to break those patterns of thinking and behaving, and hard to raise kids in a body-positive, weight-neutral way (especially with everyone, including pediatricians, freaking out constantly about BMI and childhood obesity). I hope she's able to continue what's sure to be a lifelong recovery journey, and that her parents eventually find some peace around this as well.

I've recently found myself being more aware of how adults can influence children from very early on. One example: in a restaurant recently, a little girl asked for an ice cream, and was told 'you'll get fat if you eat too much ice cream', but then when she got it and had had enough, they told her to finish it all because they'd paid for it. So on the one hand, she'll get fat and shouldn't eat it, but then if she does she has to eat it all, even if her body is telling her she's had enough 😣

I think I relatively disagree with her on the you can't have two mind sets thing or you're a problem. I've found I've been able to both accept my body at any weight and others bodies radically BUT I'm also a fitness specialist (who had disordered eating bout when younger) and I know and understand how it is important to keep at a healthy weight for yourself psychologically and physically. I also think the obesity epidemic is actually concerning but it's because the way to solve it is to listen to your body which almost no one does anymore, like she brings up. The way to solve obesity is to teach our children to listen to their bodies and what feels good to them regardless of its cookies or fruit or whatever. We need to stop having such black and white viewing on these two topics and stop saying that you can't have body positive images without not caring about the obesity problem. They are two separate topics that are related but can be focused on separately without using it as a shaming or fear tool and can even be both solved with similar methods. We can help those people with their own weight journey without compromising respect for everyone's body as the way they choose to eat and live their life. It's possible. That's my opinion. What do you think?

I don't think unintentional is quite the right word because it sounds like parents had some issues as well. Her father telling her she had enough calories.

This was exactly my experience, when it wasn't worse. I remember my mom crying over food, my father constantly and openly insulting my mother, and my father saying that 'cheesecake is suicide' to me even before I was a teenager.
I starved myself during my formative years as a result.

Oh gosh same here. I was taken to Weight Watchers age 10; continually told I 'didn't need that' food I was reaching for; and reminded often to 'suck my tummy in' ... all before I'd even entered high school. No way my Dad would cry at a therapy session tho. After going through anorexia he still says 'you've always been a selfish bitch'. I hope hope hope I never make the same mistake with my own children!!

"Do you really need cheese on that" "I think you've had enough" "oooh you're going in for more I see" "you're always hungry" "waste of life" "just stop eating"
All of these things have led me to have a binge eating disorder. I stuff my face, in private, with anything to quell my thoughts.