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I'm on this road of life looking for a shortcut!

Joking's my game, but Jason's my name.
J. to the A. to the S.O.N.
Jason!
For real!
I got porkchops on the side of my grill.

Got some M.A.N.T.I. double T.I.E.S.
Man Titties... Cause I'm fat
P.H.A.T.
Best check that!

I stand at 6 foot 5 and over 300 pounds.
People move aside when I walk around.
I got a real thick kneck with a big Ol' head & a Goatee!

You don't know me!

I was once told by a Tattoo Artist that I was seeking an apprenticeship with that:

"Everyone wants to be Jedi, but no one wants to do the training."

My reply to this is:

"I have the Midi-chlorians to make Yoda blush and no MASTER willing to train me!"