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It just turned Afternoon this lovely Sunday, and given I have only been offering small updates as of late, I felt like splurging with a little extra substance.

The past few weeks have been rather hectic. From housemates moving out, to housemates moving in and finally to qualifying to the WCS Premier league. I've been playing better than I have done in a long time, whether it's down to practicing more, having a more clear mind or just quite simply being more healthy physically, I'm not too sure. But - with the solid fact that improvement has been made, I'm going to carry on and see if adjustments can be made to figure out exactly what it is that I work best with.
For now, and for a while I've been running my own tests, seeing how I function and work better. By that I don't literally mean jotting down how each day goes frantically on a notepad, but I do mean I've been eating healthier, practicing more - and genuinely trying to focus more on the good parts of life.

I'm not exactly sure what I am to write here, but I certainly do love crafting a good story. Especially one with ups to outweigh the downs.

2012 Was a year that I'll remember for great times, and really bad times. Starcraft was going strong, I had lovely people in my life, lived abroad playing video games and a lovely fan base.
I started off the year in Oregon, signed a new contract with EG which to my delight we both wanted to continue together, and EG also saw a lot of potential in me. I was ecstatic, my future looked bright, and the puzzle pieces finally seemed to be coming together.

The year played out, and I was a lazy sod to put it bluntly. Looking back now gives me two very distinct feelings. I guess the 1st would be a little bit of regret as to how I should have done things differently within regards to what I should have prioritized, and the 2nd feeling, that I'm so much better at handling and coping with life now, that I can look back and see what I built up from, and see the progress I've made in such little time.

To make it a little more clear how bad things were for me, Half way through the year I was temporarily removed from the EG lair for a decent period of time. I wasn't pulling my weight - and was sent back to England to recover streaming hours, practice more and just genuinely get my priorities straight. This wasn't a decision that could be argued against, and to my bitter dismay at the time, was possibly one of the greatest things to have happened to me as a person.

I guess what I'm really trying to point out here is at this point that, I don't believe people truly grow up until they need to.
I'm by no means Gandalf on the wise man scale, nor do I even remotely claim to be. (Ryung just manner CC'd Hero, but lost the fight lol at this moment in this story).
But, I've grown to become way more appreciative of the bumps in the road I encounter. Maybe not so much at the time, if I hear something bad is happening in my life, do not think my response is to grin and think about how I'm to overcome this, since it's not at all. I'm not quite as hardcore as Russell Crowe in Gladiator with his phrase "Death smiles at us all, all a man can do is smile back." - I certainly do what everybody else does in a moment of panic or stress. But, afterwards, when the dust has settled, and the air cleared - I do look for clarity and see how things have become different. Not better or worse necessarily, I can't change the surroundings a lot of the time, but I certainly can alter my own way of thinking about them.

After that happened, I managed to catch up on stream hours, my results were getting better, and the end of the year was looming in. Starcraft was going better, despite viewer numbers dwindling, everyone was unsure of what was to be - and from a sense of everything being ok, the puzzle completed despite my laziness, I felt a severe sense of dread as - I was working harder than I'd ever worked, pieces of my life that were once there, were no longer - be that starcraft and personally, and I guess the only way to describe life at the beginning of the year was empty.
Luckily, fast forward a few months past the bad stuff - HoTS was released, viewers back up and running, passion for the game going strong, countless hours streaming and practicing, results finally coming to a point in which I can be proud of, Weight gained (I went down to roughly 138 pounds at one point, and given I'm almost 6,2" it was pretty scary) - I can quite happily say I have my priorities in check, at least to some functioning degree :).

The hard times helped mould me, I spent a long time riding the wave, being quite content. Honestly I've been happier in my life, but I've never been doing as well as I have now, it's a little conundrum, but one I'm sure will re-align itself as I continue to figure things out more.

Phrases like "it can make or break a man" never really made sense to me until the moments happened. When people said you need to go through bad times or woes, I always thought they were dumb, and still there are some woes in which you will never want to go through. But those general changes in which you've never encountered before, sometimes they are more often than not just the change you need.

Thank you all for the support, will continue to try and never let you down.