I got my first and only video camera in 1995. I shot a couple weddings, a Christmas party, a vacation. Haven't seen the camera since 1997, don't know where it is. I told people from that time on, if you suspect your life is boring, just get a video camera and you'll confirm it. It was confirmed to Tony Beets last night. His life is even more boring than mine. Admittedly I fast forwarded thru a lot of it. I had to, I kept nodding off. Tony pushing a wheelbarrow, milking a cow, standing here and standing there. And basically sitting in a bunch of locations in Arizona. I'm getting sleepy just typing this. Imagine the poor camera crew. They have to shoot 10 times more video than they'll ever use, and edit it down to the 'good' stuff. If this was the high points, what the heck did they leave out. The only thing more boring would be the life of Todd Hoffman. An hour of Todd sitting and watching TV and eating. Or sitting in a restaurant eating. Or sitting in his car at a fast food place eating. Taking a nap in the Lazy-Boy, an empty pan of lasagna on his lap. Please, Discovery, don't do that to us, we're begging you.. I realized yesterday that this is episode 17, which means I've written about the first 16 so far. And I can't remember a single one of them because they're all the same. It's spring, it's fall, it's summer, it's spring again, never in the right order. Machines get stuck and unstuck, they break down and get fixed, there is one crisis after another that's gets easily resolved. Parker and Tony swear a lot, Todd's clothes never get dirty, and he gets bigger in every episode. And thru it all, Jack keeps showing up at the end with that same tired green pan of perfectly clean gold. The same pan with the same gold, over and over. No wonder I can't remember a single episode.
